Does True Love Exist?
I'm fianlly done reading The Namesake! and I have say one thing that I have taken away from this novel is that it takes time to find the perfect soul mate for yourself. Gogol had so many relationships from Ruth to Maxine, Moushumi and all the one night affairs in the middle, but in the end of the novel he was all alone. He never found his true love.
Anyways, moving on. It was hilarious when Ashima kept asking Gogol about marriage. In India, parents constantly annoy kids their if they are not married by the age of 20, especially females. Ashima states how “that by Gogol's age she had already celebrated her tenth wedding anniversary” (Lahiri 191). This defines every Indian girl. My mom herself got married by the age of 19. Once she finished grade 12, my grandparents started looking for future prospects. She had no option but to listen to them, because her elder sister (my aunt) got married by the age of 19, so they felt that even my mom would not have a problem either. Personally, my mom was not happy as she wanted to study ahead in engineering but because of family pressure, and not having the financial standing to study ahead my mom decided to get married. Alot of this has to do with the Indian culture and its traditions. The same dilemma occurs in Gogol's life, after his father passes away. Ashima found it important for him to get married and have children so the family name could carry on.
Furthermore, Gogol tried to avoid an arrange marriage as he despises them. He preferred to choose his own life partner, which is why he ignored meeting up with Moushumi. However, at their wedding ceremony, Gogol remembered how “his parents, strangers until that moment, two people who had not spoken until after they were actually wed" (Lahiri 222). My perspective on arranged marriages is the same as Gogol's. My parents had an arranged marriage. Growing up, I always wanted a love marriage, to meet my own partner and spend my life with someone on my own terms. Arrange marriages are very old fashioned and confined, females do not have much liberty. Growing up in a Western Society, I prefer the freedom to choose my own soul mate, and live life on my own terms. For instance, in my favorite T.V. show Friends Monica and Chandler are the cutest couple ever.Their relationship is literally goals. The fact that they both were friends before, but eventually the friendship rekindled in love afterwards always gets me teary eyed. Monica and Chandler both married late, but atleast they found their soul mates. They did not rush into marriage, they took their time, got to know each other's weaknesses and strengths, understood each other's perspectives in life and then decided to marry each other! Honestly, I was the happiest person when they both finally took their wedding vows.
(#relationshipgoals Source: GIPHY)
Nonetheless, looking at my grandparents relationship always amazes me. My grandmother was married of at 17, with a man she never met before marriage. At that time it was casual to marry off your daughter at such an tender age. Seeing their relationship know, I'm surprised how one can fall in love after marriage. My grandparents always support and care for each other, just like any partner would in a perfect relationship. Of course they have disagreements just like any other normal relationship, however they still remain with each other during their ups and down's in life. They've been married for over 60 years and their relationship is still rock solid. So, having the conversation with my grandmother, I began to appreciate arranged marriages but still not wanting one.
(how cute! Source: GIPHY)
All in all, this book is my all time favorite from all the books I've read so far over the course of my high school career. Gogol's attempt to find his true identity, and keep a balance between both cultures felt like an image of myself.
Did you guys adore the book as much as I did? Let me know in the comments below!
Krisha, xoxo
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Works Cited
"Indian Dad Memes | Quickmeme." Quickmeme. N.p., n.d. Web. 25 Nov. 2015.
"Television GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY." GIPHY. N.p., n.d. Web. 25 Nov. 2015.
"Dancing Couple GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY." GIPHY. N.p., n.d. Web. 25 Nov. 2015.
Krisha, your brown memes are too funny!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was younger I never really understood the point of arranged marriages. I was so confused about how you would marry someone you have never seen before, and have to spend the rest of your life with them. But as time goes on and I learn more about different cultures, I feel like it is for the respect and trust that you have for your parents for them to choose the right person for you. I admire the love and respect for the parents that is held in the Bengali culture. I know if my parents to marry stranger after my high school graduation, I would probably run away to Australia and never come back. But I only say that since I grew up in Canada, and the norm is to fall in love before you get married. I also admire how in arranged marriages you learn to love your partner no matter what, and that there is no option for divorce in these cultures. Kudos to your grandparents!
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ReplyDeleteHey Krisha! How's it hanging? Once again, you've revealed something about yourself that I can also relate to. Back when my parents were children, there were many established roles between the two sexes. Males were expected to study hard, go to a reputable university overseas, and get a high income job to support a new family. Females on the other hand, generally stayed at home to cook, clean, and take care of their children. My grandmother and grandfather on my mom's side abided by this ideology exactly. My mom's father was a medical doctor whereas her mother was a housewife. My mother resembles you, Krisha. She shares your desire to break the boundaries established by culture. She went on her own path by deciding to study just as hard as the men to get into a good university. She is currently working as a computer software engineer and has never looked back since. Just like you, she understands and accepts her cultural traditions to avoid resenting her family based on their beliefs.
ReplyDeleteI believe that this final blog post has sealed our bond for eternity. I am confident to say that we have now been officially acquainted with each other. The bag of potato chips that had previously been out of reach has now been grabbed.
Thank you,
Freddie
Hi Freddie! Im glad that the bag of potato chips has finally been grabbed. Also, I'd like to say kudos to your mom for breaking the stereotype and working as a computer software engineer! There has to be more women like your mom in developing nation, who can break the cultural boundries and compete with men in this world.
DeleteHi Krisha! I really enjoyed reading your post! You are really good at making your posts interesting. I can really understand where you are coming from when you say you hate the idea of arranged marriages because I do too. I definitely agree with you when you say that you believe that you should meet your partner on your own with nobody, (even your parents setting you up). I think it is important to genuinely love the person that you are in a relationship with because if your chemistry with your significant other is forced, that isn't true love, period. anyways I do agree with you when you say that the words "true love" do not exist in Gogol's dictionary because he goes through relationships with girls as fast as I can with bag of all dressed chips (which is pretty fast). To be honest it makes me sad that he never found the perfect girl by the end of the book, but I realize that maybe it is just best for some people to stay single because relationships can be stressful and I do not think Gogol really wanted to deal with anymore relationships due to the fact that he was at a very strange point in his life after splitting up with Moushumi. I can say that I really liked the book, maybe not as much as you did because it is not favourite one that I have read throughout high school, but it was still a good read. Thank you for sharing Krisha! I look forward to reading your future posts!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your blog post this week :)
ReplyDeleteI’m in the same boat as you: I want a marriage for love instead of an arranged marriage. I think a lot of it comes from the idea of being able to choose your own path in life, as opposed to following a predetermined one. In today’s society, people tend to want to have a choice, to feel like they are in control of their life.
I found it interesting that you mentioned that women don’t have a lot of say in the arranged marriage process. I agree that it is a old-fashioned tradition. It’s completely unfair, too - why shouldn’t a woman have a say in who she spends the rest of her life with?
I also noticed that both of your gifs representing marriage for love (the one of Monica and Chandler from Friends and the one of Carl and Ellie from Up) have couples that had been friends before they were in a romantic relationship. Do you think that it makes a difference whether two people have known each other as friends or not?
Hey Krisha! I love this blog post, I found it so cute and I too want a marriage with a man who I truly love. I did not know it was part of the indian culture to have arranged marriages, and i found that very interesting. But I agree, in the western society it's mostly consisting of marriages with a true love. I can say for myself that my parents want me to find someone I love dearly and also someone they approve of, but I do not relate to the pressure of an arranged marriage. Also they would want me to succeed in life first with a good education instead of relying on a man for living. I respect that and agree. There is more freedom in marrying your true love rather than a arranged. But if it is a part of the culture then it is what it is.
ReplyDeleteLove the post! great job :)